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My Goodbye Letter to Alcohol Dear Alcohol, by Misty Fuller Medium

We had some really great times together that is for sure. Breaking rules and hearts, running from the law, hitting triple digits on the freeway, and endless laughs at our rebellious life we lived together. I certainly will never forget our times as one, I promise you that.

  • You’ve been here for a long time, and I assumed you’d never go.
  • This started off with plenty of happy moments, like the first time I experienced getting high or drunk.
  • My co-workers must have thought I had a real weak bladder with the amount of times they assuredly saw me up and leave the office.
  • My relationship with you, Addiction, made me a trophy of grace.
  • I still despise you for what you’ve done to me and what you’ve forced me to do to the people I care about.
  • But no person could ever get in between us so I certainly wasn’t going to let money get in our way.

I am a child of God and He had finally broken through the never-ending pile of shit we had built together called my life. His words were simple, yet more powerful than anything you could ever do to me.

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I’m just sorry I abused our relationship. And who knows, if I’m ever old and alone, we may meet again.

goodbye letter to alcohol

Going into a tough neighborhood filled with dangerous people was always an experience that made me feel invincible. Some days, I thought you were what I wanted. Sometimes the drug abuse made me feel great, eased my inhibitions, and made me forget about my own self-contempt. You used to be all I ever thought about.

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You transformed me from a bright-eyed and innocent child into a hardened shell of a woman with a disgust for herself and mistrust for those around her. I see now that your intent is to kill me – and in the meantime, to alienate me from anyone who cares and make my life not even worth living. Rarely a day went by that we weren’t together. I had been on anxiety medication but stopped taking it as I thought it was making me sick when I drank. I had moved out of my home and was living with using friends. My husband and family did not know where I was. I was calling into work and had my fellow employees so concerned that they called for a welfare check.

goodbye letter to alcohol

I frequently became sick because of you, but I didn’t mind – it never lasted long and I was able to return to the party. goodbye letter to alcohol I look back on all the shame, the pain, the embarrassment and the regret that my dependence on you brought into my life.

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You too can have a long term of sober living with only two requirements. I tried so many times to leave you; to walk away with the confidence that I could live without you, but you kept calling. I packed you up into my jeep and off we went. You knew something was up when I took you down to the beach, solo.

In your place, I welcome in increased health, abundance, self-worth, connection, unconditional love and God’s grace. New ways of connecting with the people in my life. An embrace at the end of the day, meeting after the kids went to bed, celebrating special occasions, tucking in with you on a cold winter night.

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We are no longer taking on your name as we move away from you either. You don’t get to claim us as “Alcohol-ics,” anymore. We are changing our names during this divorce back to who we were before you moved in on our lives. It’s a clean break and we won’t be taking your name along with us. So, if you’ve been wondering why I said goodbye to you for good, it was because I began to resent you and then quickly fell out of love with you. I sleep a whole lot more and value my downtime.

Learning to live a fully conscious and alcohol free life. The silver lining to our relationship is that I am stronger than I’ve ever been. My relationship with you, Addiction, made me a trophy of grace. Relationships have been restored, and new ones have begun. I’ve said goodbye to relationships that held me back and hello to ones that push me to be the best version of myself. With the help, love, and support of God, as well as my family and counselors, I crawled out of the dirt and fought back.